Soft Discipline: The Fitness Mindset That Changed Everything for Me

I remember the first time I heard someone say, “Only a fool pursues perfectionism”. At the time, I couldn't wrap my head around it. Afterall, how could there possibly be something wrong with aiming for perfection? Yet, that's exactly what happened to me and my fitness journey. After 2 years of religiously going to the gym and absolutely loving everything about it, I fell off. Something that I was certain would never happen to me. All it took was one 5-day trip to Miami. After that, over the next two years, and frankly, up until today, I have worked on rebuilding the momentum and consistency I had back then

In the beginning, I was in denial. I remember the excuses I would make. It was Summer-time Chi, I was recently single, and I had no other option than to be outside and show off the body I had worked so hard on for the last two years. Between boat days, the insane amount of festivals Chicago has to offer, and obviously, I can't forget Sunday fundays, my fitness goals had fallen to the bottom of my priority list. But I wasn't worried, I knew as soon as summer was over, I would get right back into it. Boy, was I wrong.

I tried to get back to my 5-6 workout days, I really did. I would work out here and there, but between my fall semester and continuing the nightlife that I had gotten a taste of all summer, it just wasn't sticking. I remember being so hard on myself. “How could I let this happen?” I was supposed to be better than this, or so I thought. Weeks turned into months. I made it to the gym here and there, but seeing my body struggle to lift the weights that once seemed light really took a toll on me. I would look at my body in the mirror, and I no longer saw that pump after a leg day. I no longer cared to make my healthy meals because I was reminded of back then. Back when I would cook for two, back when I cared about my health and fitness. Like a domino effect, everything I had worked so hard to perfect had crumbled beneath me within the blink of an eye.

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I Stopped Punishing Myself

As bad as I felt, there was one thing I refused to do, and possibly the one thing that saved me. I never canceled my gym membership. Doing that felt too real. Like a breakup. And I was not ready to give up on myself. That's when, slowly but surely, I began to change my perception of fitness and overall wellness. Back then, my goal was clear: a small waist, with a fat ass. Now, it was personal. I needed to prove to myself that it didn't matter how many times I went to the gym, what mattered was showing up for myself.”A win is a win”, I remember I began to tell myself. I no longer counted the days I made it to the gym; instead, I thought about the small walk I took between classes.

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I Tracked Consistency, Not Perfection

That's how I fell in love with cardio. And not in an unhealthy, fast gateway to weightloss type of way. I fell in love with the intimacy of it. Knowing that this was 100% me time. No real pressure, just time I gave to myself. It started off with walks to my nearby park, a total of 3 miles there and back. Eventually, I started to jog it, but I still refused to add any pressure. I knew I could stop if I got tired, and more importantly, I could pick up the pace as soon as I felt ready.

That's the beauty of consistency: You're allowed to pause, refocus, and reset if necessary. Once you feel ready, you can press replay. By March, I was running the 3 miles effortlessly. The progress was evident. I had reignited that spark in me. But this time, I had a solid foundation to stand on. I was no longer beating myself up when I couldn't run the full 3 miles without stopping. Or talking down on myself, the days I ran slower. I was just happy to keep going.

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I Romanticized The Process

Fast forward almost 3 years since that Miami trip, I have run the Shamrock Shuffle, JP Morgan Corporate Challenge, joined a Volleyball team this past summer, and consistently participated in Lagree classes. I have never felt or looked better than before. I know, I didn't mention the gym. That's because, frankly, I've fallen in love with the flexibility and diversity of my new fitness journey. And up until the beginning of this year, the gym simply wasn't a part of it. I eventually started running The 606, one of the must-see places in Chicago. If you know, you know, type of thing. Soon after that, I would go run along the lakefront. I learned that having beautiful scenery in front of you makes running ten times easier. These were views I was never going to get from my gym. Once I got a Classpass membership, I became a Lagree girl. Seeing everyone all done up, in their cute outfits, in cute studios, really drew me in and made me want to become one of them. I even began to enjoy cooking again.

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What My Week Looks Like Now

Between long walks, casual runs, and random classes I take from Classpass, I have found my way back to working out 4-5 times a week. The best part is there's no stress. One week, I might only make it to one lagree class, but I try to make up for it in other ways. Maybe I'll sign up for Barry's class for the first time. Maybe I hate it and never do it again. ( I actually love Barry's - shout out to Mateo). But you get my point. I've recently dusted off my roller blades. I think this is the summer I finally learn how to properly break. The possibilities are really endless.

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Gentle reminder

Working out is hard. Being disciplined is harder. However, that does not mean you need to be hard on yourself. In fact, it's quite the opposite. Learning to be gentle with myself, give myself grace, and allow myself to learn from my mistakes has been the one thing that has made those hard goals attainable. Frankly, I'm very happy for that Miami trip because I don't think I'd be where I am now, had it not been for it. So if you're the girl who's restarting every Monday, or sits outside the gym dreading going in, this is for you: Discipline doesn't have to be aggressive to be effective